September 1st, 2009 › Books › Amanda Williamson › 2 comments ›
This blog has been inspired by a book I was recently lent to read, called ‘The Elderwoman by Marian Van Eyk McCain.
To summarise really quickly, the book is based on the idea that as ‘we women’ reach the menopause (sorry to be exclusive!) we are presented with the uplifting OPPORTUNITY to share our life experience and wisdom with others and for the benefit of others. Basically we become women of standing and importance – elderwomen – as opposed to simply – olderwomen – who gradually sink into insignificance and invisibility because we can no longer compete with the good looks and charms of younger women.
For me the increase in lines and wrinkles, loss of energy and muddled thinking caused by a peri-menopausal diagnosis haven’t been easy to cope with. Grow old gracefully? I don’t think so!
Elderwoman status feels more positive – it feels more generative. It offers me the chance to share the benefits of my perceptions, discoveries and struggles.
Of course the famous ‘sages’ of the past have touched the lives of many thousands with their wisdom and insight and I can only reach out to a small minority in a small way. Does that matter? Not a bit.
There’s a saying by Mahatma Ghandi which I really like – somthing about being the change you wish to see in the world – sums it up nicely.
August 3rd, 2009 › Confidence/Self Esteem › Amanda Williamson › no comments ›
I’m sometimes asked by clients contemplating coaching if I am able help with generalised feelings of low self esteem and the answer is a definate YES.
A specific issue or problem is not necessary. Coaching is about personal development
and it’s equally important and beneficial to tackle feelings of low self worth as it is to
confront more specific problems linked to say a relationship or work issue for example.
High self-esteem means that we appreciate ourselves and our personal worth.
Clients who present with self esteem issues tend not to have a positive attitude; not to value themselves very highly; are not convinced of their ability and do not see themselves as confident and in control individuals. This view of is very limiting.
Maslow’s Hierarchy of Need depicts esteem as a ‘higher level need’. The higher needs in his hierarchy only come into focus when the lower needs in the pyramid are met.
This is important.
If we get stuck at the ‘esteem’ level we will find it difficult to progress to the next level of ‘self actualisation’.
If we get ‘stuck’ on the ‘ esteem level’ we will limit our effectiveness and ability to achieve the ‘highest level’ of success :
Low self esteem = inability to progress = inability to achieve = unfulfilled potential = ?
Many of the clients I see with self eteem issues feel frustrated by their inability to ‘move on’ in life and to feel happy with themselves. Their issues are often deep seated and it’s only
when ‘picked apart’ that some of the root causes become visible.
Unlike counselling where the aim may be to resolve issues from the past, coaching seeks to acknowledge the reasons for lack of confidence and esteem, but then to support clients
to overcome their personal barriers; build on their strengths and make practical and positive changes.
Does this blog help anyone thinking of opting for a coaching approach to tackle self esteem issues?
Amanda
July 1st, 2009 › Personal › Amanda Williamson › 5 comments ›
There are moments in all our lives when we realise something important has happened and it will have a lasting impact. For me it was a small – and not entirely pleasant sound, that changed my life – the sound of a recorder!
Where and when? At primary school, as I passed by a classroom, peaked around the door to see where the sound was coming from, and was suddenly gripped by the desire to acquire a recorder and join in with the group as soon as possible. (I still have that old wooden recorder – although I have to say I later upgraded to an ‘Aulos’, which didn’t clog up with saliva quite so badly!)
Such an insignificant moment – life changing?
Yes, definitely. Because the musical ability I found I had through playing the recorder, led, directly, to some of the most positive experiences of my youth:
- I learnt to play the flute and joined the school band. I went abroad with the band (to Dieppe in France), and this was my first ever trip out of the country. (As a family we only ever went to Overstrand near Cromer).
- I joined the choir. The choir contributed to an episode of ‘Songs of Praise’ and I saw myself on tele! (I recall we trooped over to a neighbours house to watch the broadcast on colour TV because we only had a black and white set).
- When I left school and went to University I joined the ‘Keswick Hall Choir’, a professional and well renowned choir and we sang in Cathedrals and great halls and public places, including West Minister Abbey on one occasion.
Engaging with music brought me into contact with people who were ‘well brought up’ and academic and nice. Often I felt they came from a more ‘privileged’ background than I did – but our musical ability gave our relationships equality.
In my particular case, learning to play the recorder impacted on my sense of self and my self-confidence. Where would I have been without it?
Amanda
